TransCanada exposes massive bong plot.

TransCanada has been working with the US and Canadian governments to expose terrorist elements among the anti Keysone-XL protest movement. Officials holding a press conference in conjunction with the White House Press corp reveals. They released few details but reveal that the attack would have left the nations capital "devastatedly happy".

SWAT raids in Yockle, Nebraska, found a 20 mega tonne bong ready for loading on to a privately own air freighter. "We were stunned by what we saw, splifs the size of Noahs Ark" said lead officer Eric Himler.

A manifesto mailed to the New York Times in an envelope with Yokle post marks claimed

"We are the children of the Earth and she is hurting, right. She asked us to help her with her pain relief medication, right. We love her and cannot deny her, right.

Our plan is simple, right. While the lobbyists were sleeping or otherwise occupied with the munchies, right. We would give congress time pass legislation requiring dirty energy companies to pay for their polution and end exploration subsidies, right; Out law astroturfing and pass a constitutional amendment overturning Citizens United, right; and end the failed war on drugs, right.

White House spokesman  Jay Carney described the plot as "potentially the most devastating assault on democracy in history," he went on to say "We are so grateful we can spy on American citizens without warrants or reasonable cause in the manner made possible by the Patriot Act and NDAA. We'd like to thank the ACLU for not busting us on it."

See Also
  TransCanada: Protesters are "terrorists"
  TransCanada: Nebraska landowners "terrorists"
  Mass arrests of KXL protesters ensnare farmers, veterans, soccer moms.
  ACLU sues administration over Prism