Saturday, 15 August 2015

Thousands Protest TPPA, Cthulhu's office minions hide under desks.

When an ancient monster of the deep doesn't get things going their way, things tend to get ugly. As evidenced after Cthulhu's return from Wellington to supervise John Key as he addressed a crowd of thousands critical of the Trans-Pacific Partnership.

The whole affair went so badly Cthulhu had to pretend he was one of the protesters, just to not complicate the already huge mess his plan for economic and social devastation had become. Needless to say, his mood is considerably darker, than our last report. There is speculation of a Rick Astley revival tour, because this has escalated beyond a Justin Bieber concert level event.

Despite failing to win over the crowd on the Trans-Pacific partnership, John Key did manage to entertain the throng with dancing, air guitar and pony tail pulling.

At the end of the protest, dancing broke out behind him. Minions manoeuvred to squash the fun, but could only hold it to the base of the steps of Parliament.


Cthulhu hides in crowd to avoid "complicating" the destruction of reality.


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Huge crowd at impromptu protest after the protest.

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Extra speeches enthusiastically welcomed, but not from Minion John Key.

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The protest finished some time ago, almost everyone is still here
It seems Cthulhu may be worried that if enough people know how bad this deal is, it may well fail and new plans will have to be developed to bring on the destruction of the great Galleon Earth.

Meanwhile, his suspicions have been confirmed, and what little has been leaked about the Trans-Pacific Partnership is devastatingly powerful, and his great mind bending powers may not be enough to turn public opinion around.

Worst still, the minions in charge of the project are engaged in infighting with some plotting to barbecue Tim Groser on a spit.

One minion said "I wouldn't call it utter chaos, but it is complete bedlam around here."

Captain Jack Noodle of Pastafarian Pirates of the Pacific, had this to say "Aye, This be interesting, the deal be straining under the weight of its own stupidity. Complete dissonant collapse be imminent... Stand back, put on yer goggles and hazmat suit, this is going to get rough! Arr 'tis better it implode before it matures to a working derangement. His Noodliness, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, will, find some comfort in this news. We may yet clear the foul winds of the Trans-Pacific Purgatory."

Update 12 Apr 2016 Thanks to Karin G for her fine work administering "John Key leave New Zealand be" on facebook.

See Also
   3News - Thousands protest against the TPPA Deal


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