Thursday, 20 December 2012

Why do atheists laugh at Religion?

Some of my first thoughts on this question today, were satirical, and primarily aimed at Christians.
"We thought about it, then we realized these things, running an inquisition was going to be a lot of work; none of us want to put up with the all the screaming, and Christians tend to make a meal out false martyrdom and we didn't want to be faced with what they could do with genuine martyrdom, too many of us had seen the Jaws movies."
A few things come to mind, about religion past and present that naturally lend themselves to laughter.
  • Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron and the banana, selectively bred from plantains in the 19th Century, this miraculous fruit is perfect example of intelligent design and outrageous buffoonery that even Ray Comfort now uses as comedy.
  • The compassionate omniscient God who is Jesus, curses a barren fig tree that is out of season. to make matters worse authors cannot decide if the try died immediately or over the course of a night.
  • God talks to himself, perhaps suffering dissociative personality disorder, and this is the guy who is supposed to be in charge? Gen 1:26
  • If you want striped goats, just put mummy and daddy goat in stripped tent Gen 30:37-39.
  • The almighty powerful one needs a rest after six days.
  • God needs to workout more, while brawling Jacob, he resorts to cheating by dislocating Jacobs leg 32:25
  • On marriage equality, it seems to be their right to discriminate against the LGBTQ community, and no one else's right not to discriminate, huh?
  • You get pregnant before conception in Arizona? Thanks pro-lifers. Abortion clinic bombers et al are not terrorists? Wow, Sarah Palin, you should be on SNL.
  • Grand Canyon created in five minutes in an event that would have flash sterilized the planet. Eric Hovind continuing the family clowning business, eh?
  • T-Rex a vegetarian, yeah pull the other one Ken Ham.
  • Irish non-catholic churches aren't real religions. Nice one, Cardinal.
  • "Infidels are jealous of Islamic magic". LOL.

As I sat down to write I realized that laughing at religious absurdity is easy, and a relief from the darkness of various religious behaviours and atrocities, too numerous name them all, but lets take a look at a few of the highlights or low-lights would be a better description.
  • The persecution of children as young as 5yo as witches. Children tortured and murdered or abandoned by their families after accusations witchery or demon possession. Including one case where a girl hung by her leg on electrical cable for days in order extract confession of complicity in witchcraft leaving a permanent mark on her body. This is a growing practise in West Africa among protestant churches even though Nigeria has criminalize witch persecution the corruption of police officials makes prosecution rare. One prominent case centres around the Liberty Foundation Church lead by Lady Apostle Helen Ukpabio - one prominant member of this church officiated a confirmation ceremony for Sarah Palin.
  • Persecution of the LGBTQ community. State constitutional amendments and various other laws prohibiting marriage among non-heterosexual couples is mild compared to Uganda's "Kill the Gays" law set make "Aggravated Homosexuality" a capital offence which applies to long term monogamous relationships, and raising children while gay. The bill also includes some other things that have nothing to do with being gay namely paedophilia.
  • HIV/AIDS in Africa, the protestant church not have all the fun. The Catholic churches decades old obstruction to barrier contraception has finally broken down this year, given the virus plenty of opportunity to devastate communities, and leaving orphans to be raise by often elderly extended family in poor health and abject poverty, because the sexually active population are also the working population.
  • Bombings and poison gas attacks on schools, the shooting of Malala Yusafsi, yesterday's coordinated attacks on polio vaccination volunteers.
  • Human sacrifice for a good harvest. While government officials and police in northern India are trying to standout this practise there still are a few cases each year.
  • 22 children stabbed in a Chinese school.  It turn out the man who committed this particular atrocity is connected with a dooms day Christian cult.
  • The Holocaust was a natural consequence of Catholic religious epithets against Jews. To quote life long Catholic Adolf Hitler in the conclusion of chapter 2 of his 1922 best seller "And so I believe to-day that my conduct is in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator. In standing guard against the Jew I am defending the handiwork of the Lord."

No comments:

Post a Comment