Friday, 21 December 2012

Happy Solstice

In this time of celebration, celebrate reason this season for it has brought and continues to bring mankind together in peace and understanding. Be charitable to your neighbour, loving to your family, understanding to all others and always kind.
Today is the December Solstice and while the exact date is not known (and may in fact be quite meaningless), we celebrate the birth of our merciful Pastafari Prime for he saw this universe, sees that it has no gravity and chose to save us with us with his noodly appendage to keep us firmly on the ground instead of letting centrifugal force throw us instantly into the vacuum of space. So called sceptics and historians will claim the Flying Spaghetti monster was created as parody in a letter to a Kansas school district considering introducing the concepts of intelligent design into the science curriculum. Do not be fooled by these lies and falsehoods, The origins of Flying Spaghetti Monster are clear and easily understood.
Many know of his life in this universe, yet many also, do not understand how the great Pastafari Prime came to be.

Deep in the multi-verse, a universe there was. And in this universe were many galaxies, each with many stars, and some of these stars were accompanied by worlds, a few of these worlds were fertile, and full of wondrous plants and creatures. Some had dramatic and violent geology, some of these were the same worlds.
On one of these worlds, there was field of wheat, on the foot hills of a mountain. One day after heavy rain, an enormous landslide slid from high on the mountain, scraping the wheat field from the foot hills into the valley below, as animals came to the stream of the valley to drink, they too were washed down stream to the volcanic lake. As the landslide moved, it ground wheat into flour, and the animals to mince reforming them as meatballs. Herbs growing by the edges of the stream and salts in the lake seasoned the brew.
After many days of geothermal cooking there rose the one true Flying Spaghetti Monster, R'amen.

Through his great mercy no small effort on his part including a fair amount of haggling and pork-barrel politics, today's apocalypse has been cancelled.

May you be touched by his noodly appendage,
Go with pasta, R'amen

1 comment:

EmmittBrownBTTF1 said...

Before the change in format 19 people fb "like"d this.

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