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| Seriously not happy |
Former Primeminister of 10 years, Stephen Harper, now scourers the situations vacant pages, It seems, his backup career as a rock musician has fallen through.
As for Justin, he has wasted no time and has already presented a plan to protect the oceans off Canada's coastline which is considerably longer than it was the last time the Liberal Party was in power, due in large part to the activities of Shell, Exxon, Mobil, Trans-Canada and others all at the behest of Cthulhu and facilitated by loyal minion Stephen Harper.
Needless to say, the mood in the caverns of the great deep are particularly hostile today, It is reported through back channels that several minions accidentally exploded as Cthulhu's mind-bending powers overloaded their brains during interrogations as part of the investigation into the causes of the loss of positioning of Canada's top minion. Janitor minions have been kept busy for most of the morning.
The cephalopod administration had believed Canada was "well in hand". Native communities were "well marginalized", Tar sands extraction operations were toxifying water resources and arable land very successfully, "we were having a good, run, we even gagged the scientists that tried to point out how we were succeeding."
"But at least we still have California, it is in severe drought, and Nestle is doing a marvellous job of stealing water through their bottled water operations. Though Governor Brown is a real concern, with his intention to make California's energy system run entirely on renewable sources. Things were better when people got concussion walking into the California smog, we'd rather return to that, but we are having trouble finding a replacement for Ronald Reagan - former actors with Alzheimer's and a desire to distract from real political power are really thin on the ground."
Having failed Cthulhu, Stephen has chosen to leave the ranks of minions, Is it out of fear of the great old one's oncoming piqued ire, we cannot be sure without a clear statement, and former minions are notoriously tight lipped about their motivations, it is part of the fabric that makes them effective in cosmocidal enterprises.
We invited Captain Jack Noodle to comment. "Let's be havin' ya, I'm here for the spaghetti, It time to party, we can rebuild Canada for pirates of all kinds to live happy and free in a huge crew dedicate to fare sailing spaceship Earth to home port by the beer volcano. We may not send minions to the brig, but it sure good to get them out of the wheel house. Arrgh, yee."
Clearly their is a celebratory mood in Canada, and high hopes for minionless or at least minion-reduced governance. Clearly mood is changing in territories held by minions for the glory of Cthulhu, surely Cthulhu must be concerned by what they may be doing wrong, and why large populations don't see or accept his vision of dead universe, or even just obey his will to avoid pissing him off.
See more
The Guardian - How Science helped swing the Canadian Election.
