Monday, 5 December 2016

Cthulhu - Mondays suck

It's a been another Monday with all that that entails, and not less so than at Cthulhu's project headquarters in the caverns of the great deep.
First, a project to steal land, and build an oil sprinkler pipeline to poison the land and the drinking water of 17million people, got canceled - because somehow they noticed how the pipeline thing works.

But perhaps worse than all of that, Cthulhu's trusted minion and part-time toady, was captured in photographs with a shrimp cocktail and a bowl of clam chowder. The timing couldn't hardly have be worse for Cthulhu, the process of confounding earthquake recovery is only just getting underway; The Trans-Pacific partnership legislation will soon be signed into law and will need a strong hand in a studded and spiked glove to crush all opposition; And those ponytails don't pull themselves.  The public first learned of this development when prime minister John Key announced that he would be resigning next week "for family reasons". Getting fired by an authoritarian cosmicidal mollusk for chowing down on his tender bits - it's the old family way.

The Mount Roskill by-election saw the loss of another minion from Parliament, inconvenient in itself, but more worryingly for Cthulhu, the public mood is clearly changing and his mindbending isn't working like it once did. It may be time to rationalize efforts and focus on Washington. Of course Cthulhu's main minion there isn't happy either, he just lost at least a half million in the North Dakota sprinkler pipe project.

Austria looked like it could work for Cthulhu, the far right put up a strong effort refusing to concede that they lost the recent election. Then they folded. "So gutless, not even an attempt at a bloody coup. They could have competed with Syria for air time, what waste". "It is at times like these, I wonder if I'll ever get to end the universe. Of course, I have never been beaten by any other planets. So why start now?"

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