Tuesday, 18 August 2015

Abbott Goverment to be fired twice

Credit: Bill Leak - New Matilda
Cthulhu just can't seem to catch a break. From the collapse of the Trans-Pacific Partnership talks, to 15,000 New Zealand protesters taking to the streets in opposition to the non trade free trade deal.

Now the Australian subsidiary, the National Liberal Party led by Tony Abbot is expected to completely fail to win over voters at the next national election.

Mystery surrounds the expected forthcoming election result, senior minions exclaiming "How could this happen?!". Rumour has it Cthulhu is looking replace the Abbott government, his net is cast wide, and a line of killer robots has  yet to be ruled out.

Wild and irrational speculation abounds. Some say voters liked having energy systems that fail to destabilized the climate or pollute local natural environments. While others trot out pet theories that maintaining health services, education, and sustainable energy research remain favoured policies for many Australians. One of the most ludicrous ideas out there is the idea that Australian authorities shouldn't be torturing or raping refugee's in off-shore concentration camp's.

Clearly, the real cause is that Australians are so overwhelmed by smoke and heat stroke from the annual wild fire season that they now don't know what they are saying or doing, they now are regularly seen going on deluded rants about caring for vulnerable people - especially the brown ones, protecting fragile environments, and creating a sustainable Australian economy. This is clearly an unforeseen complication. The mind bending techniques of Cthulhu seem to be subject to interference from the hot weather.

According to technical experts in the field, the hypothesis of warmer climates or other extreme weather events interfering with Cthulhu's mind bending techniques has merit and is under active investigation.

According to Captain Jack Noodle of Pastafarian Pirates of the Pacific "Aye, His Noodliness, in his gospel talks of encouraging everyone to wear pirate regalia by warming the Galleon Earth, but perhaps it is also to keep minds clear of Cthulhu's mind bending trickery. Even drunk he has good ideas, sometimes."

See also
   New Poll: Liberal party destined for 36 seat wipeout - Stuff

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