Thursday, 10 October 2013

The Onion to buy Fox News

CEO of The Onion, Steve Hannah, today announced that the Onion is engaged in a hostile take over of Fox News. Hannah stated in a press conference held at 2:30 9 ET in the Caucus Room restaurant Washington DC.
"We think they offer comedic credentials that complement our business model."
He also commented on the recent scandal where Fox reportedly stole Material from competitor satirical media site National Report.
"It is worrying behaviour, if the charges are true, but for now they have created an opportunity from which comedy will be the ultimate winner at the end of the day."
When asked if such a take over would create an unacceptable monopoly under the Sherman Act he responded with
"M*A*S*H is classic comedy, Harry Morgan has nothing to worry about, his portrayal of Colonel Sherman Potter will stand up for generations."
Hannah also noted that "We would not be here today but for a meeting that took place in this very room in January 2009."

Fox News CEO, Roger Ailes, could not be reached for comment but his office released a statement saying only "We believe we are working in fundamentally different markets, we don't do satire, we steal it, or we invent news, this is not a market for creativity."

Hannah responded to the Fox statement by email saying "Ailes is brilliant, he has a classic straight-man schtick going on, that's why we love him and his company."

Fox stocks fell 5 points, while The Onion stock was over 200F degrees at time of writing.

See also
   Fox fakes it - Yahoo
   Obama's Muslim Museum - National Report
   Caucus Room 2009 meeting sets agenda - Huffpost 

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