Thursday, 1 August 2013

Ohio Weather: Cloudy with a chance of spagetti sauce.

Is Linda Harvey's anti gay agenda
leaving the FSM off color?
According to Monsenior Captain Ridi Culous of the Fundamentalist Pastafarian Church based in Colorado, Ohio is in grave danger of a massive flood - of spaghetti sauce.

Culous says, "Linda Harvey for the Flying Spaghetti Monster's sake (Sauce be upon him), must stop talking before the state is flooded with spaghetti sauce. The Severe weather in northern Ohio last month was just a warning."

Harvey's anti gay slurs and bullying right down to claiming that gays are not legal persons are so stomach churningly offensive that the Fly Spaghetti Monster is on verge of tossing salad and sauce.

Lately she has been on a bender fighting to prevent dying man from knowing that after he dies, his partner may when he dies join him in the family. Harvey's justification for this is that both men could each marry a women. Says Culous "Well Linda, the Flying Spaghetti Monster(SBUH) has news for you, you too can marry a woman, just get on with it and stop making other people and flying spaghetti monsters nauseous with your despicable nonsense, we just don't need that much spaghetti sauce."

"We understand the last great flood happened when the Flying Spaghetti Monster(SBUH) puked up a serving of noodle soup resulting from Noah's homophobic tirades. By the time Noah drunkenly banished his youngest son for seeing him drunk ass naked, the Flying Spaghetti Monster had been dry retching for weeks. The Flying Spaghetti Monster doesn't have the stomach to be at peace with homophobic bigotry. Just look at Russia, it is so homophobic, last year the FSM(SBUH) coughed up a meatball. People were hospitalized by broken glass shattered by the sonic boom before it landed in a lake.

When asked why the media reported a meteorite and not a meatball, Culous claimed "The media do not want to know the truth of the Flying Spaghetti Monster so they deny him. It is a kind of religious discrimination. After 5000 years, we Pastafarians have learned to live with it."

See Also
   Truth Wins Out
   The Guardian - raining meatball

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