Thursday, 20 June 2013

Florida: Zombie Apocalypse preparations started

In the the run up to the 2012 US presidential election, Josh Whedon noted that Mitt Romney was well prepared for the Zombie apocalypse...

Why would any one say that? You might well ask.

The close relationship between ALEC (American Legislative Exchange Council) and Republicans is well documented. Including the incident in which 1534 journalists fell out of their chairs laughing when one GOP legislator forgot to put her name on a piece ALEC crafted legislation.

Perhaps there is a deeper reason, Mitt Romney and others in top business are so comfortable with a zombie apocalypse, ... it is part of the business plan. Ultimately the goal is to capture the entire money. They started extracting money from the general economy in the mid 1980s through neo-liberal economics, better known as Reaganomics and more recently described as Rigonomics.

The problem is that once enough money is taken out of the system, eventually there is not enough money remaining for people to live on.  In order to preserve business interests as people stop living and become zombies, ALEC has crafted legislation now passed into passed into Florida law designed to keep the zombies at work rather than dawdling in the street and eating brains.  The legislation criminalizes sick-leave for all Florida workers.

Critics of this plan note that servers at restaurants frequented by ALEC members and sponsors may expose patrons to infected material.

Herb Havataul, CEO of Richmond Flux Capacitors, said "Look,  I'm not sure zombie thumb is something I want in my clam chowder, but it has to be done. we want the money supply."

To date there has been no word on a release date of the zombie virus. Analyst, Dick Witham, says "starvation and overwork continue to be keeping cognitive acuity to minimum in the slave,  er working population, Jim Jones was certainly on to it on people management".

Witham also notes "This is the most cost effective strategy, we could shoot them, but at 15c per shell, that would cost millions, this way we get something out of them. It really is a methodology that must be used only in exceptional circumstances, like when they try to eat your face, a teenager looks at you funny, and of course in situations where life and limb maybe under threat, like negotiating with a union or giving a deposition to ACLU lawyers."

Also worth noting 50,000 ballot voters voted to make sick-leave a legal requirement. Witham comment "Well, that'll never work, we can't have people not working, They might start thinking and demanding to get back some of the money we stole from them in 2009, worse yet, the last 30 years."

GOP hero Rick Scott, stepped in using the ALEC crafted bill, to make sure the "working" were kept to busy to recover from fatigue, ebola, necrotising faciitus, swine flu, bird flu, west nile virus, rickets, shingles, botulism or zombie virus, and thus the plan to own the money supply continues, but it certainly was a close one.

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