Saturday, 29 September 2012

Founding Fathers arrested in Tampa!

It appears the men charged with creating the legal foundation of the United States of America are not content to simply spin in their graves over the antics of Tea Party republicans.

An announcement from the Department of Homeland Security in Florida says four corpses were arrested while "acting suspiciously" in the run up to the Republican National Convention and are being questioned.
Benjamin Franklin James Madison George Washington John Adams

A lawyer for the four say they are in good spirits and are being treated well before reading a statement the four demanded that he make publicly available.
"We are aghast by the manipulation of voting laws in Pennsylvania by the Republican campaign. We didn't take this rubbish from King George and we refuse to take it lying down from traitors to our own Republican Party and the these United States. These modern Tea Party Republicans are casting a stain on the memory of good fellows we marched with in Boston. When we were in politics we were at the forefront of the Enlightenment - to see these abuses and disregard for the constitution leaves us horrified to our very cores."

Executed search warrants located a cache of gunpowder and muskets. DHS Director for Florida, Mark Perez said "They had enough to do a lot of damage."

Thomas Jefferson
FBI are still looking for the fifth and sixth members of the group, Thomas Jefferson, 5'2" 120lbs, white powdered wig, wooden dentures, and a distinctly musty odour along with an unidentified corpse described as tall thin and thought to be Abraham Lincoln. Audio tapes with a voice said to that of Lincoln is heard to say emphatically "I didn't free the slaves so these lunatics could lock up their descendants in fascist prisons!".

They are expected to be charged with conspiracy to commit terrorism and will be moved to Guantanamo Bay to await Court Marshal.

The public are warned that if they come across these fugitives that they should contact authorities immediately and do not attempt to engage them as they a considered unpredictable.

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